Today was a spiritual day. In the morning before church, we had a visit from the Stake Presidency. I went to sacrament meeting, came home and had some lunch, then took a nap for the next 2 1/2 hours. When I woke, the children were playing and soon after I got up, my mom came back from her weekend at Daniel's. She told us about all her adventures. I told her some of the questions I had been looking up in the scriptures today and we had a discussion with David. We mostly questioned how to find the will of the Lord and how we should pray to bring our will in correspondence with his.
When Elder Pearson came, our whole family sat in the living room in our church clothes, including my mom. Elder Pearson asked some questions about our family, then we asked him some questions. I asked him about prayers --and he told me that at this point in my life, my goal in prayer is to learn by the spirit what the will of God is for me. Instead of wondering about what to do, the spirit can guide me and comfort me and help me know what to do. I liked that answer. He also gave a Christmas message about the people in the Book of Mormon who received the sign of Christ's birth, right in time to avoid being killed for their beliefs. He told of his son who was born with cancer. They had to fight for 6 years for his life, but he is alive today, ten years later, so I felt like Elder Pearson could really identify with our family's trials. At the beginning of the trial, he felt like if enough people prayed and fasted and if he gave his priesthood blessing, then his son would recover, or at least his tumors would be smaller. When Elder Pearson received bad news from the surgeon, it was like a crisis of faith for him. But, he learned through his prayers that his boy was first Christ's son before he was Elder Pearson's son and the son would have to endure to the end of this trial and no one could change that.
Elder Pearson also asked if he could give me a blessing. It was an honor and of course I said yes. The only question was, should David put the consecrated oil on my wig (which is hard to wash) or through a hat or on my bald head. We went ahead with the wig idea. I felt such a strong spirit from this man who was blessing me in behalf of the Lord. He blessed me with peace of mind and peace of conscience, knowing that if I keep the commandments, the Lord will take care of me and of my family and I won't have to worry about them. He specifically blessed the boys, through me, that they would become strong from this trial and would learn many lessons. He blessed me to have the spirit to know God's will. He blessed me with comfort as the time grows near for me to leave this earth; that our whole family would be comforted as the veil grows thinner. He mentioned there are those waiting to accept me with open arms when I die. He didn't say how long I would live, but he blessed me to have a happy Christmas with my family this month. He reminded me that the Lord loves me and is aware of my needs and he cares about me and about my little family. Also, that I might be an example to others of studying the will of God and accepting it in my life.
Of course all the grown ups in the room were crying, even Elder Pearson. He is tall, but he leaned over and gave all of us a big hug before he left. We have felt his spirit lingering in our home just in the past hour and a half. All of the boys went quickly and quietly to bed, so that David and I can write on our computers about the blessing. I believe that I will have many more times when I am sad, but will be able to remember this blessing and have peace and hope in my heart.
Emilee
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9 comments:
Emilee,
What a neat experience for you and your family to have Elder Pearson come to your home and offer some comfort and insight.
I've been thinking about your question in your last post. The prayer of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane came to mind. He asked to have his cup removed from him but ended it with the expression "thy will be done" showing that whatever the answer would be he would be faithful. It amazes me to think that the Savior was willing to suffer something unimaginable for all of us, even though he would’ve rather not. His prayer makes me wonder if he fully knew the importance and the magnitude of what he needed to endure to make the atonement complete. Did he enter into that trial without a complete understanding of it’s significance until later? It makes you wonder how much even he had to walk by faith in his mortal ministry. I am sure after he completed his mission on earth he would’ve had a perfect understanding of why he had to suffer what he did and would’ve been eternally grateful that he was allowed to successfully complete his mission even though it caused him pain and suffering at the time. How else would he know how to help us unless he suffered as we do? Because of his sacrifice I think he is able to have a perfect understanding of what we go through. I’m starting to learn more and more in my life that trials will come, no one is immune but the Lord is always prepared and wants to help us through them offering comfort and support.
I’m sure that you’re right that there will be times that are tough in the future but hopefully you can draw on the peace and comfort from today to help.
Love you Emilee! You’re an inspiration to all of us and we’re praying for you and your family.
Emilee, here are some more details that I wrote down about today. Your loving husband, David.
This last Wednesday Emilee received a call from Elder Kevin Pearson from the first Quorum of the 70 and said that President Monson asked him to call Emilee. My Brother Greg sent a letter and the article that the Utah Daily Herald printed about Emilee Oct. 24th to President Monson. Elder Pearson said that President Monson wished that he could personally come but his busy schedule would not allow it right now and the he is concerned and aware of Emilee and our family. Elder Pearson spent about 20 minutes on the phone with Emilee and asked about what her concerns are and listened and empathized with Emilee. He also said that his now 16 year old son was born with a serious cancer and it was discovered when he was 3 months old. Elder Pearson asked if Emilee wanted to have a blessing and Emilee said yes. Emilee told him that this Sunday would be best.
We did not know what time he would come until he called Emilee in the early afternoon and said that he would come by between 6 and 7 PM. All of us were anxious and happily awaiting his arrival. Emilee had a few questions that she asked me a few days before that she wanted to ask Elder Pearson.
At 7:30 Elder Pearson came to our door and all the boys were there as if it were Santa Himself but they knew this was better and more profound; This was the Lords servant on the Lords errand assigned directly from President Monson. We shook his hand and all sat down in our living room and began to talk. Emilee asked him “There are times like this week when I feel utterly helpless, except to ask the Lord for comfort. I acknowledge that his will be done in every situation, so I don't pray to be relieved of my burdens, only that I might be able to bear them. With this philosophy in mind, I have been wondering: If I want to give my life up to the Lord, what is the purpose in praying for a miracle, and then be disappointed when it doesn't happen? Basically, who am I to petition the lord for a situation when he already knows what the outcome will be? Isn't asking for a miracle the opposite of giving your will to the Lord?
He then said; let me answer this in two ways. He then asked for the scriptures and turned to the Bible dictionary about Prayer where it says,” Prayer is the act by which the will of the father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of god, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessing that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.”
Elder Pearson then said,” Let me also answer your question this way. Sixteen years ago my 5th child was born with cancer. We did not discover that until he was 3 months old. It was a rear type that is genetic and in his chromosomes. He is o.k. now, but he can still have a different type of cancer later in his life and he has a 50/50 chance of passing it on to his children. When we discovered this we were living in the San Francisco Bay Area. In that area we were able to meet the World’s best Oncologist, Cancer Doctor, for that type of cancer. When I met with this doctor I told the doctor that my boy would be alright because he had been given a blessing and that his eyes would be o.k. The doctor said very bluntly and with no bed side manner that one of my sons eyes had the cancer in it and would most likely need to be removed and he would not know if the other eye could be saved or not. This Doctor said that my son would need to be operated on and that I would need to trust him to do the job that he would need to do. If not, then he was not the doctor for this job. My wife and I agreed to have the surgery. I was confident that my son would be fine and he would keep both of his eyes and recover in time. When the doctor came out of surgery he said that he had to remove the one eye and he was able to take some of the cancer out of the other and that the second eye may still be possible to save over time. At that moment, my faith was tried. My Parents and wife were at the hospital with me. I couldn’t take it any more and I just left the hospital and went on a very long walk on that rainy foggy day. At first I was confused and as I prayed I was angry with Heavenly Father as to why the blessings and prayers were not answered the way I thought they should be answered. After all, up to that point in my life, there was an answer for everything, a way to fix everything. After a long walk and when I was mentally, emotionally and physically drained I sat down and just sobbed for a long time. Then, Heavenly Father answered me thought the Holy Ghost and simply said, Kevin Pearson – “Your Son is my Son too”. Through that simple statement I learned how utterly helpless I was and how dependent I am on my Heavenly Father. My Heavenly Father knows the experiences that my son needs to go through in this life to successfully return back to our Heavenly Father. I then learned that I must trust and depend on my Heavenly Father and that I do not understand all things, but I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and my son.”
Elder Pearson also said that Emilee should re-read Elder Bednars talk on Prayer that was given in a recent conference talk. Here is a link to it>
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=4056a0ad4843d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
Elder Person also read to us from 3 Nephi 1 about how he was in Finland on his mission at Christmas and that there were no members in the area and only he and his companion from Canada that did not speak much Finish, let alone English was with him. He received a nice package from home and then he read 3 Nephi 1 where Nephi pleaded with the Lord that he would hear his prayers and that he and his people would be spared. Elder Pearson said, this was the night before Christ was going to leave his Heavenly Home and come to earth. Who in this Universe would not be busier than Jesus Christ just before he would leave his heavenly home, yet Jesus stopped and answered Nephi’s prayer and the small band of saints in the Americas. Elder Pearson then felt the spirit stronger than he had ever felt before up to that time in his life and thought him that our Heavenly Father cares about each one of us.
Elder Pearson then gave Emilee a beautiful blessing.
David Ellis
Thanks for sharing your experience of your blessing with us. What a beautiful memory for your family. Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you Emilee. We love you and are mindful all you are going through.
Thank you for your post. Priesthood blessings bring so much comfort even if the blessing isn't quite what we're looking for. I hope you can continue to draw upon this experience when times are tough. I love the quote by President Hinckley where he says,
"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God. And move forward with faith. And confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. If we will but put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, If we will live worthy of His blessings He will answer our prayers."
I look at this quote every morning when I wake up and it gives me much comfort. I am thinking of you and David and the kids. You are always in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. You are in our prayers as well.
Emilee and David, Thank you for sharing your precious spiritual experience with us. We pray for both of you and the children everyday. We are so grateful for the sweet whisperings of the spirit and the priesthood power to comfort you and increase your faith. We also wanted to comment about hospice. Our family has been blessed by hospice twice. Please allow your children and both of you to have the comfort, counseling and resources that they can provide you. Call me if you want some examples of how they helped my nieces and nephews when my niece was ill last summer. We love you! David and Lorene
I remember facing the same questions about an illness in my life, whether I should pray to have it taken away, or whether I should just pray that the Lord's will be done. Reflecting on this situation I realized that the Lord wouldn't mind me asking for the pain and the illness to go away, if it was his will. I of course asked, as you do, to be able to bear my burdens. I eventually arrived at the same conclusion that Elder Pearson suggested-- that true prayer is a communication with Heavenly Father in which we learn the will of the Lord through the Spirit, and then we will actually be directed as to what we pray for. It's hard to accept the Lord's will when the answer isn't what we want to hear, but of course we can pray that we will be comforted and strengthened to be able to reconcile ourselves to his will. I believe that you are doing this, that you are actively fighting the cancer, as you give your will to the Lord. You are doing all that you can do. The Lord will take care of the rest. Thank you for you and David for sharing the spiritual experience you had on Sunday with Elder Pearson. How wonderful that President Monson is mindful of you personally! That was very thoughtful of Greg. Many love you here, and many love you who await you, no matter when that time comes. I hope that you feel continual strength and comfort in the face of your trials. Love to you Emilee.
Laurie
Woah! What a special experience it must have been to have Elder Pearson be in your home and give you a blessing. I could feel the Spirit by just reading your experience. Thank you for sharing that speical moment.
I am leaving tomorrow to go see my parents and brothers for the Holidays and wanted to simply express my continuing love for you and your family. Emilee, so many have been touched by your spirit and your strength! Thank you for your strong faith and for turning "lemons" into lemonade. I appreciate your example and your desire to do God's will no matter what. Have a wonderful Christmas and year-end with your family.
With much love and thoughts for you,
Amedee
Your telling of this day gives me more faith and trust in the Lord. I'm your Mom's friend so you can tell I've lived a long time and know that the Lord loves me and takes care of me no matter the trials. Looking back I can say I'm thankful for them and my ability to rely on his spirit and guidance to direct me. I'm never that thankful in the thick of things but looking back over my life I know I've been taught and strengthened because of them. My prayers are with you.
Hilma Bellessa
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