My blood counts are fine. according to the doctor's office. I will just blame my fatigue on the chemotherapy and indeed I have been feeling a little bit better each day. Yesterday I received some birthday presents! My kids were thrilled to open the Wii Sports from a family member. Then I used my birthday money to purchase the Wii Fit program. So far, it has been a great motivator for the kids to do their chores and homework. I have only let them use the Fit program so far, as I want them to get used to it and keep working on it regularly. It has some programs with exercises, but mostly the kids like the balance games, like skiing or soccer, where they play by shifting their balance on the board (a white platform that interacts with the tv and senses your weight and balance.)
I'm looking forward to taking my last Xeloda pill tomorrow and I'll be going out to lunch for my birthday. I don't think I'll have any other celebration that evening, but maybe David and I can go out this weekend. Some friends in the ward are taking me out to lunch on Friday. I'm thinking of going to China Isle to get my favorite mango chicken. I'll be 37 tomorrow. When I turned 35, David had a big surprise party for me, which was dinner and a private concert by pianist Jon Schmidt, my favorite composer ( I have all his piano books and like to play them myself.) Those are fun memories.
Today my jaw is hurting, which means my TMJ is acting up. I'll be going to the chiropractor in the morning. Otherwise, my pain is pretty much under control. A lady in our ward called today to see if she can do our laundry, so she is coming to pick it up tomorrow. What a nice service!
Brenton had his first guitar class yesterday. He is really excited to learn how to play the guitar that David has had for about 8 years. Brenton has also started staying after school for play practice, as he is going to be in the Wizard of Oz. Today, I told him his chore was to make dinner, so hopefully he is starting that about now. I can hear someone in the kitchen, at least.
I am still very grateful that I haven't been terribly sick during my treatments. I can't really accomplish much when I feel sick, but on my weeks off I can go out and enjoy more things.
Bye for now,
Emilee
P.S. Jonny's big snow cave collapsed. I think he tried to make it too big. We haven't had too many huge storms, so much of the snow outside is crusty. I'm sure he'll get another chance to sleep in a snow cave this winter.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Monday January 12th
Yesterday morning, David woke me briefly at 8 AM and asked if I wanted to get up for church. I told him no and went back to sleep. The next thing I heard were kids coming in the front door. I wondered "Why aren't the kids at church?" I looked at the clock and it said 12 :15. I can't believe I slept so long without waking up. The hometeacher came over to bring me the sacrament after church. David attended a board of review for Jonny to get his Life scout award. Now Jonny only needs to wait 6 months before he is eligible to become an eagle scout. Brenton needs to watch out, as his brother might beat him to it! Also on Sunday we received the gift of a large family photo, the same photo that is at the top of this blog. It must be 16 by 24 at least, and it has a beautiful wood frame. David said the priests in our ward made the frame themselves, putting it together and staining it a nice walnut brown. We put it on the wall facing the door as you are going upstairs.
The rest of Sunday I felt tired and a little lightheaded. I have only a few more days to take the Xeloda pills, but I haven't had as much nausea as before, or else I am just better at managing the medication. I woke up this morning feeling the same way. I got out of breath just climbing up the stairs and I was ready to take a nap an hour after I woke up. I called the oncologist's office and they ordered a blood test. Jennie came over today, so she drove me over the AF hospital for the test. No one called me this afternoon from the doctor's office (if they did, it could have been during the 3 hours I was taking a nap!) I'm doing a little better this evening after my nap in the afternoon. While here, Jennie made some potato corn chowder from a recipe I gave her. It was nice to wake up from my nap at 5:30 and have something to eat. The rest of the family ate around 6:30 when David got home.
Tomorrow I hope to hear from the Dr. if I need a shot or maybe a blood transfusion. Maybe I just need extra rest to build up my blood cells again. I reserved some flights for our family to visit San Diego at the end of the month. I am also in the process of renting a 2 bedroom cottage near the beach. We plan to take the kids out of school and visit places like Sea World, the zoo, Legoland, etc. I should be feeling even better by then, so I can enjoy myself. I'll make an appointment to visit the oncologist as soon as we're back, then I'll find out my test results and what treatment he recommends.
I've been using my little light box every day or so. I am still in good spirits, even though it is the middle of winter. I am grateful for that. I'm also grateful that I haven't had to be hospitalized and I haven't had to fight an infection. I feel very blessed. Ward members continue to remember us and drop by homemade bread, dvds and things like that. Thanks to everyone!
Emilee
The rest of Sunday I felt tired and a little lightheaded. I have only a few more days to take the Xeloda pills, but I haven't had as much nausea as before, or else I am just better at managing the medication. I woke up this morning feeling the same way. I got out of breath just climbing up the stairs and I was ready to take a nap an hour after I woke up. I called the oncologist's office and they ordered a blood test. Jennie came over today, so she drove me over the AF hospital for the test. No one called me this afternoon from the doctor's office (if they did, it could have been during the 3 hours I was taking a nap!) I'm doing a little better this evening after my nap in the afternoon. While here, Jennie made some potato corn chowder from a recipe I gave her. It was nice to wake up from my nap at 5:30 and have something to eat. The rest of the family ate around 6:30 when David got home.
Tomorrow I hope to hear from the Dr. if I need a shot or maybe a blood transfusion. Maybe I just need extra rest to build up my blood cells again. I reserved some flights for our family to visit San Diego at the end of the month. I am also in the process of renting a 2 bedroom cottage near the beach. We plan to take the kids out of school and visit places like Sea World, the zoo, Legoland, etc. I should be feeling even better by then, so I can enjoy myself. I'll make an appointment to visit the oncologist as soon as we're back, then I'll find out my test results and what treatment he recommends.
I've been using my little light box every day or so. I am still in good spirits, even though it is the middle of winter. I am grateful for that. I'm also grateful that I haven't had to be hospitalized and I haven't had to fight an infection. I feel very blessed. Ward members continue to remember us and drop by homemade bread, dvds and things like that. Thanks to everyone!
Emilee
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Saturday January 10th
I've been sick most of the week, but I hope next week will be better. I haven't been out of the house since Thursday afternoon when Elaine took me to the Dr. and shopping. She brought us dinner that night. On Friday after school, Brenton spent some time at his friend Skyler's house, where his mother taught Brenton how to make homemade chicken and noodle soup. In fact, Brenton got to help Sister Pierce as she mixed and rolled out the thin dough which they cut in strips to boil in the soup. They also baked us a cake for dessert and Brenton helped them deliver everything in time for dinner.
The kids are doing well. David took them to rec center today, after going to Wal Mart to get some racquetballs. They were also able to do some swimming. I just stayed home and ate leftover chicken soup. With the homemade noodles it was quite filling just to eat a small bowl. Another ward member brought us over some ice cream after the pack meeting on Thursday, so our freezer is full of meals and desserts.
After dinner, we played a family game, Jr. Scattergories. It was just a bit too hard for Nathan, so I let him tell me some of his answers and I wrote them down, and I filled in any blanks for him. Instead of timing the round, we just waited until most of us were done writing, then we went around and read our answers. I'm really looking forward to finding more games that Nathan can play with us so he doesn't feel left out.
I'll try to go to bed earlier tonight so I will be able to go to church. We'll see how i do,
Emilee
The kids are doing well. David took them to rec center today, after going to Wal Mart to get some racquetballs. They were also able to do some swimming. I just stayed home and ate leftover chicken soup. With the homemade noodles it was quite filling just to eat a small bowl. Another ward member brought us over some ice cream after the pack meeting on Thursday, so our freezer is full of meals and desserts.
After dinner, we played a family game, Jr. Scattergories. It was just a bit too hard for Nathan, so I let him tell me some of his answers and I wrote them down, and I filled in any blanks for him. Instead of timing the round, we just waited until most of us were done writing, then we went around and read our answers. I'm really looking forward to finding more games that Nathan can play with us so he doesn't feel left out.
I'll try to go to bed earlier tonight so I will be able to go to church. We'll see how i do,
Emilee
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thursday January 8th
The mystery is solved! For the past few days I have been struggling to keep my pain under control. It turns out when David put the patch on my back on Sunday night, he put it in one place, then took it off and put it on another. By moving it, the patch lost some of its ability to stick to my skin and deliver the pain medicine. Luckily the new patch I got last night worked fine and I didn't have to wake up to the morning in pain.
I went to visit my pain doctor, Dr. Garner, today. When I told him how much liver pain I was having, he wondered if the pain was caused by old issue breaking up or if it could be that my disease is spreading. I have a PET scan on January 20th, so I could probably meet with the oncologist and find out the results at the end of the week. I mentioned to Dr. Garner that I was hoping to take the kids on a little trip, for a few days in southern California. Here was his advice: decide ahead of time if I want to know the results of my test or if I want to wait until I am back from spending time with my family and find out then.
A short trip with my family would be my birthday present, to celebrate turning 37. When I go out with my family it should be to celebrate life, not worry about death. Just like at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will most likely be feeling better during that extra week after my treatment. I don't know yet what we will do or where we will go, but the social worker at the clinic has contacts like organizations and businesses who will donate airfare or hotel time . I want my kids to have happy memories of our time together instead of memories of hospitals and staying in bed all day. My focus needs to be on healing and not on how I am going to pay the bills from the new oncologist and from my expensive tests and treatments.
I am dealing with heavy burdens, but many people are stepping in to help make those burdens lighter. Thank you again.
Emilee
I went to visit my pain doctor, Dr. Garner, today. When I told him how much liver pain I was having, he wondered if the pain was caused by old issue breaking up or if it could be that my disease is spreading. I have a PET scan on January 20th, so I could probably meet with the oncologist and find out the results at the end of the week. I mentioned to Dr. Garner that I was hoping to take the kids on a little trip, for a few days in southern California. Here was his advice: decide ahead of time if I want to know the results of my test or if I want to wait until I am back from spending time with my family and find out then.
A short trip with my family would be my birthday present, to celebrate turning 37. When I go out with my family it should be to celebrate life, not worry about death. Just like at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will most likely be feeling better during that extra week after my treatment. I don't know yet what we will do or where we will go, but the social worker at the clinic has contacts like organizations and businesses who will donate airfare or hotel time . I want my kids to have happy memories of our time together instead of memories of hospitals and staying in bed all day. My focus needs to be on healing and not on how I am going to pay the bills from the new oncologist and from my expensive tests and treatments.
I am dealing with heavy burdens, but many people are stepping in to help make those burdens lighter. Thank you again.
Emilee
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Wednesday January 7th
I've been too sick to do much except read or watch TV. We had helpers both yesterday afternoon and today -- a RS sisters who helped keep the kids on track with their chores and homework. I've had more pain than nausea, so I will discuss this with Dr. Garner tomorrow. When I take extra pain pills, they work but leave me groggy, so I end up dozing all day. We have plenty of leftovers to heat up for dinner. Well, that's about it. Hopefully I'll be doing better soon.
Emilee
Emilee
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sunday January 4th
Our church schedule changed today. We go at 9 AM so everyone has to be up and organized in the morning, just like for school. David let me sleep until 8:30 AM and I got up and took my pills, had a bagel and was at church by 8:50. Our sacrament meeting was spiritual and I'm glad I was able to attend. I went home after that to take the rest of my pills and to rest.
Tomorrow the kids start their school schedule again. I'm feeling ok, just the same side effects as before, taking just the same medicine. I feel grateful the children had such a fun time this past week, playing with friends every day and enjoying every minute of their Christmas break. David did some organizing and cleaning yesterday, so even our house is in good order. Also yesterday I received a little Apollo "Go Light" which is supposed to help mimic sunlight in the winter. It is small and chargeable, about the size of a portable cd player.
Yesterday afternoon I sorted photos in my scrapbook room. Just going downstairs to look at albums and photos cheers me up, so my goal is to do a little bit each day. I'm 2 years behind on all of the albums, as I haven't felt well all year. It's hard to believe that March will be the 2 year anniversary of starting chemotherapy. In February it will have been 6 years since I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. In January, I'll have my birthday and turn 37.
I'm hopeful for the new year, but I also am feeling a lot more peace in my life as I read spiritual books in addition to the Ensign and the scriptures. I'm not as scared as I used to me. I know the Lord is watching over me and over my family. I will submit to God's timetable and make my family my priority. I will accept help and service willingly, so that others may be blessed for their service.
Emilee
Tomorrow the kids start their school schedule again. I'm feeling ok, just the same side effects as before, taking just the same medicine. I feel grateful the children had such a fun time this past week, playing with friends every day and enjoying every minute of their Christmas break. David did some organizing and cleaning yesterday, so even our house is in good order. Also yesterday I received a little Apollo "Go Light" which is supposed to help mimic sunlight in the winter. It is small and chargeable, about the size of a portable cd player.
Yesterday afternoon I sorted photos in my scrapbook room. Just going downstairs to look at albums and photos cheers me up, so my goal is to do a little bit each day. I'm 2 years behind on all of the albums, as I haven't felt well all year. It's hard to believe that March will be the 2 year anniversary of starting chemotherapy. In February it will have been 6 years since I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. In January, I'll have my birthday and turn 37.
I'm hopeful for the new year, but I also am feeling a lot more peace in my life as I read spiritual books in addition to the Ensign and the scriptures. I'm not as scared as I used to me. I know the Lord is watching over me and over my family. I will submit to God's timetable and make my family my priority. I will accept help and service willingly, so that others may be blessed for their service.
Emilee
Thursday, January 1, 2009
January 1st, 2009
Happy New Year everyone! Even though it was my treatment day yesterday, the 31st, David took me out to dinner with the boys in the late afternoon so we avoided the huge dinner crowds. Then we stopped at a mall to pick out one of my Christmas presents: a pound of See's Chocolates. I think it is the first time I have ever ordered a pound of just my own favorites, so every piece was a real treat for me. You can always tell how well my stomach feels by whether I'm up to eating candy or not!
The meeting with Dr. Shehadeh went as expected. My bloodwork and tests appear to be stable and I am tolerating the treatments well. I haven't had to get a blood transfusion or take antibiotics for an infection. My pain is still mostly under control, though my liver is still hard and presses on my stomach, causing nausea. On Jan. 19th we scheduled a PET scan which should give the most recent indicator of my condition. After that, I'd love to take a few days and go off with David and the boys to celebrate my birthday. I'm having fun just thinking of a few places we could visit as soon as I start to feel better again.
Thank you, Becky and Laurie for the offer of a light box. Please bring or send one as soon as you can and I can even help you cover some of the cost. I want to start out the month being positive so I don't end up down in the dumps later on.
The boys have been playing video games and playing with friends the whole week long. I know they have enjoyed this break from school. Even Nathan has been invited over to several families where they fed him and played with him. This really makes me grateful.
Another surprise I had when I got up from my nap this afternoon. David and the boys had taken down the Christmas tree and put everything away in the basement, except a few wintery decorations that David wants to keep up. The living room is back to its usual configuration and the house looks clean and neat. I got to stay home and rest all day while David brought the kids over to my brother Dave's then he brought home dinner from his mom's house. I always feel well-remembered whenever I read this blog or listen to messages. It helps me to still feel connected to the world. A year ago, when we had to disconnect our cable for several months, I noticed a big difference because I felt isolated at home. Watching my new favorite travel shows is like bringing the whole world's culture right to my living room. I have had a greater thirst for knowledge lately, knowing that is one thing I can take with me when I pass on.
I put a new photo up at the bottom of this page on the blog. It was taken the Sunday before Christmas. Also, David opened my donation account with $1.00 to start with. I'll be using any of the donation money for Dr. and prescription co-pays, not to mention the insurance premiums themselves. You can call 1-800-USBanks and have them look up my name. Also the account number is on the right side of the screen on this blog.
I enjoy writing, as it is a good way for me to express myself and also to get feedback from others. Thanks for reading!
Emilee
The meeting with Dr. Shehadeh went as expected. My bloodwork and tests appear to be stable and I am tolerating the treatments well. I haven't had to get a blood transfusion or take antibiotics for an infection. My pain is still mostly under control, though my liver is still hard and presses on my stomach, causing nausea. On Jan. 19th we scheduled a PET scan which should give the most recent indicator of my condition. After that, I'd love to take a few days and go off with David and the boys to celebrate my birthday. I'm having fun just thinking of a few places we could visit as soon as I start to feel better again.
Thank you, Becky and Laurie for the offer of a light box. Please bring or send one as soon as you can and I can even help you cover some of the cost. I want to start out the month being positive so I don't end up down in the dumps later on.
The boys have been playing video games and playing with friends the whole week long. I know they have enjoyed this break from school. Even Nathan has been invited over to several families where they fed him and played with him. This really makes me grateful.
Another surprise I had when I got up from my nap this afternoon. David and the boys had taken down the Christmas tree and put everything away in the basement, except a few wintery decorations that David wants to keep up. The living room is back to its usual configuration and the house looks clean and neat. I got to stay home and rest all day while David brought the kids over to my brother Dave's then he brought home dinner from his mom's house. I always feel well-remembered whenever I read this blog or listen to messages. It helps me to still feel connected to the world. A year ago, when we had to disconnect our cable for several months, I noticed a big difference because I felt isolated at home. Watching my new favorite travel shows is like bringing the whole world's culture right to my living room. I have had a greater thirst for knowledge lately, knowing that is one thing I can take with me when I pass on.
I put a new photo up at the bottom of this page on the blog. It was taken the Sunday before Christmas. Also, David opened my donation account with $1.00 to start with. I'll be using any of the donation money for Dr. and prescription co-pays, not to mention the insurance premiums themselves. You can call 1-800-USBanks and have them look up my name. Also the account number is on the right side of the screen on this blog.
I enjoy writing, as it is a good way for me to express myself and also to get feedback from others. Thanks for reading!
Emilee
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